Adult Play
By: Ozmarelda Korvinos, I wrote this my first year in college and decided to share.WARNING: Do not read if you haven’t got a twisted sense of humor!
As a former longtime cocktail waitress and bartender I have observed a wide variety of human, adult behaviors, most of which I cannot write about lest I risk getting kicked out of class. One of the most common interactions I have observed is a little game I call, “Bar Fishing.”
Bar Fishing is easy. It takes two (or for the brave more) people, some watered down alcohol, the smoke filled bar or club of your choice, bad breath, body sweat, loud music and alas more alcohol. Here’s the best part about Bar Fishing, the people you’re playing with don’t even have to know they’re participating!
Playing is simple if not highly juvenile. Here’s how it is played. First, a man or woman (we’ll say man for the time being) goes into a bar or club. This is preferably one he’s been to before so he feels somewhat comfortable. He should walk in the door with confidence, but should not make any direct eye contact with anyone at this time. Immediate eye contact by a male commands presence and can seem intimidating if not downright creepy. It says, ” Hey look at me! I am a serial killer! I will put Rohypnol in your drink and you will wake up dressed like a schoolboy in my freezer!” Not a good way to score. Do not worry, there will be a time and place for eye contact.
Next, the man must find a seat close to the dance floor, somewhat close to the bathroom and must have a reasonably good view of the tables and people around him.
Once our fisherman has found a suitable place to sit, he goes through a period of observation. He must scan the room with his eyes in a sprinkler type motion so as not to make any unwanted or accidental eye contact, but still be able to spot any available “hotties”.
Availability is an important part of the game for a man, as the rules are different for a man than a woman. A man does not, I repeat, does not want to initiate in the game with a woman who is not available or otherwise spoken for. This may result in another man wanting to play a new and exciting game with him called, “Plastic Surgery” or “Dentist.” These are not fun games and again, will not help him score.
Once he has scanned the room for available “hotties”, the fun can begin. Now the man must strut to the bathroom or the bar, whichever happens to cross the “hotties” path, in an attempt to gain her attention. At this time he may suck in, flex, and engage in mildly dramatic eye contact. This is called Casting out and is totally appropriate. It is important for him to refrain from winking or flickering his tongue in a serpent like fashion. This is about as cool as flagellating and also will not help him score.
If the girl sees him cast out and she’s accepting his bait she may do one of several things. It is important for him to know the signs of bait acceptance and bait refusal.Scrunching her nose up and whispering to her friend, “Oh my god, that guy with the mullet and leisure suit is sooowuh staring me down!!” is not a good sign of bait acceptance. Approaching her now may be devastating to his ego. If she happens to smile at him or play with her hair, he may repeat the casting out a few more times to be sure. Sometimes baiting girls can be tricky and bait refusal can appear to be bait acceptance. It’s ok to cast out a few times just to be sure.
Now, if the girl stands up, bends over and exposes her thong underwear above her low-rise jeans, the man should approach her immediately as thong underwear purposely pointed in a mans direction is a clear indicator of bait acceptance.
Now that he has a bright purple pair of thong underwear pointed in his direction, he may walk over to his potential prize and initiate in conversation. A little “Hey Baby, wuz up?” is appropriate. He should say something nice about her and her friends. Girls fall for this kind of talk “hook line and sinker”. “Hey Baby, what’s your sign?” is outdated and “Hey Baby, I wanna’ butter your muffin.” is a sure way to get him slapped or kneed. Getting slapped or kneed in a bar can be a good or bad thing in bar fishing. It can gain you sympathy from the rival “hotties”, or can get you banned if this particular “hottie” happens to have a lot of “hottie” friends. It is wise to avoid being slapped altogether.
Girls have a different set of rules. For instance, Girls may approach an unavailable man. This makes the game more interesting. Also, when a guy has accepted the bait, more often than not, the accepting male will approach the “fisher girl”. This is called “Reeling In”. He may also choose to bait her as well and the game will continue on in this way for most of the evening with the two baiting and casting out back and forth.
As a cocktail waitress I have a group of regular “Bar Fishers” that come in play frequently. I have even been baited myself by the “master baiter”. However, early on in the game I decided “Bar Fishing” was not the game for me, as I am getting too old for such things and I do not own a single pair of thong underwear. Now I play mainly as observer and “Game Warden”. Under this job title I say things like, “Girl that guy was in here with Jaime Getaround last night. Don’t you dare!!” In my position, I know who’s been with whom and caught what from where.
After trying “Bar Fishing” for a while it is my hopes that one will grow up and take on more adult play like “reel” fishing. In the mean time, have fun, be safe and fish on!
Bar Fishing is easy. It takes two (or for the brave more) people, some watered down alcohol, the smoke filled bar or club of your choice, bad breath, body sweat, loud music and alas more alcohol. Here’s the best part about Bar Fishing, the people you’re playing with don’t even have to know they’re participating!
Playing is simple if not highly juvenile. Here’s how it is played. First, a man or woman (we’ll say man for the time being) goes into a bar or club. This is preferably one he’s been to before so he feels somewhat comfortable. He should walk in the door with confidence, but should not make any direct eye contact with anyone at this time. Immediate eye contact by a male commands presence and can seem intimidating if not downright creepy. It says, ” Hey look at me! I am a serial killer! I will put Rohypnol in your drink and you will wake up dressed like a schoolboy in my freezer!” Not a good way to score. Do not worry, there will be a time and place for eye contact.
Next, the man must find a seat close to the dance floor, somewhat close to the bathroom and must have a reasonably good view of the tables and people around him.
Once our fisherman has found a suitable place to sit, he goes through a period of observation. He must scan the room with his eyes in a sprinkler type motion so as not to make any unwanted or accidental eye contact, but still be able to spot any available “hotties”.
Availability is an important part of the game for a man, as the rules are different for a man than a woman. A man does not, I repeat, does not want to initiate in the game with a woman who is not available or otherwise spoken for. This may result in another man wanting to play a new and exciting game with him called, “Plastic Surgery” or “Dentist.” These are not fun games and again, will not help him score.
Once he has scanned the room for available “hotties”, the fun can begin. Now the man must strut to the bathroom or the bar, whichever happens to cross the “hotties” path, in an attempt to gain her attention. At this time he may suck in, flex, and engage in mildly dramatic eye contact. This is called Casting out and is totally appropriate. It is important for him to refrain from winking or flickering his tongue in a serpent like fashion. This is about as cool as flagellating and also will not help him score.
If the girl sees him cast out and she’s accepting his bait she may do one of several things. It is important for him to know the signs of bait acceptance and bait refusal.Scrunching her nose up and whispering to her friend, “Oh my god, that guy with the mullet and leisure suit is sooowuh staring me down!!” is not a good sign of bait acceptance. Approaching her now may be devastating to his ego. If she happens to smile at him or play with her hair, he may repeat the casting out a few more times to be sure. Sometimes baiting girls can be tricky and bait refusal can appear to be bait acceptance. It’s ok to cast out a few times just to be sure.
Now, if the girl stands up, bends over and exposes her thong underwear above her low-rise jeans, the man should approach her immediately as thong underwear purposely pointed in a mans direction is a clear indicator of bait acceptance.
Now that he has a bright purple pair of thong underwear pointed in his direction, he may walk over to his potential prize and initiate in conversation. A little “Hey Baby, wuz up?” is appropriate. He should say something nice about her and her friends. Girls fall for this kind of talk “hook line and sinker”. “Hey Baby, what’s your sign?” is outdated and “Hey Baby, I wanna’ butter your muffin.” is a sure way to get him slapped or kneed. Getting slapped or kneed in a bar can be a good or bad thing in bar fishing. It can gain you sympathy from the rival “hotties”, or can get you banned if this particular “hottie” happens to have a lot of “hottie” friends. It is wise to avoid being slapped altogether.
Girls have a different set of rules. For instance, Girls may approach an unavailable man. This makes the game more interesting. Also, when a guy has accepted the bait, more often than not, the accepting male will approach the “fisher girl”. This is called “Reeling In”. He may also choose to bait her as well and the game will continue on in this way for most of the evening with the two baiting and casting out back and forth.
As a cocktail waitress I have a group of regular “Bar Fishers” that come in play frequently. I have even been baited myself by the “master baiter”. However, early on in the game I decided “Bar Fishing” was not the game for me, as I am getting too old for such things and I do not own a single pair of thong underwear. Now I play mainly as observer and “Game Warden”. Under this job title I say things like, “Girl that guy was in here with Jaime Getaround last night. Don’t you dare!!” In my position, I know who’s been with whom and caught what from where.
After trying “Bar Fishing” for a while it is my hopes that one will grow up and take on more adult play like “reel” fishing. In the mean time, have fun, be safe and fish on!
So what would you call what the cuz of Mr Black was doing when we went to the bar? As he still kept contacting me once I went back to Utah..you know me.. Im not impressed when men and alcohol mix..
ReplyDeleteI check for posts everyday as I enjoy reading your stories..