Agreed. This blog is terrible. I think if I was not working full time and taking care of a large household that I would have more time to focus on the things I want to write about. I am always coming up with ideas for stories to blog about- like the time my dad cut his finger off, or my brother tried to cut the cleats off of his shoes, or the time my car caught on fire- or even my fantastic trips to renascence fairs.
These days I have been stuck in a terrible depression and I can't seem to shake it. I know a lot of it has to do with the fertility medications I am on. Normally I love to write when I am feeling down, but this down is different. It's malevolent and sinister; robbing me of all the things that used to make me feel happy. My life depresses me, my infertility depresses me, my job depresses me, being a mother depresses me, being a friend depresses me. There's just too much sad.
I don't want to make anyone sad. I just want my sad to stop. I hate feeling helpless more than anything. I hate feeling like I am not being heard or taken seriously. I need to get this sad under control and start living again. I just don't know where to start. I mean really, who wants to sit around all day wishing they just didn't exist anymore?
I think I am going to finally give this blog some direction. I have decided that I am going to blog about being totally and ridiculously honest about life. If I do something stupid- I am going to blog about it and share my thought processes no matter how horrible, selfish, stupid or insecure I may seem. I will write like an adult trying to make sense out of things.
I am going to write about my childhood and all the funny, stupid, crazy things that happens when you live in a large, poor, dysfunctional family, but through the eyes of a child.
Yes the blog will feel bipolar at times, switching from humorous stories to more real topics like how fucking hard it is to stay away form soy and carbs!
Stay with me folks. I'
m sure there will be a gem in here somewhere.
These days I have been stuck in a terrible depression and I can't seem to shake it. I know a lot of it has to do with the fertility medications I am on. Normally I love to write when I am feeling down, but this down is different. It's malevolent and sinister; robbing me of all the things that used to make me feel happy. My life depresses me, my infertility depresses me, my job depresses me, being a mother depresses me, being a friend depresses me. There's just too much sad.
I don't want to make anyone sad. I just want my sad to stop. I hate feeling helpless more than anything. I hate feeling like I am not being heard or taken seriously. I need to get this sad under control and start living again. I just don't know where to start. I mean really, who wants to sit around all day wishing they just didn't exist anymore?
I think I am going to finally give this blog some direction. I have decided that I am going to blog about being totally and ridiculously honest about life. If I do something stupid- I am going to blog about it and share my thought processes no matter how horrible, selfish, stupid or insecure I may seem. I will write like an adult trying to make sense out of things.
I am going to write about my childhood and all the funny, stupid, crazy things that happens when you live in a large, poor, dysfunctional family, but through the eyes of a child.
Yes the blog will feel bipolar at times, switching from humorous stories to more real topics like how fucking hard it is to stay away form soy and carbs!
Stay with me folks. I'
m sure there will be a gem in here somewhere.
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| I'm not gay, but there are days I feel like a unicorn and there are days I feel like this unicorn. |
