The Ballad of Harry Squatter Part Duce

Part 2...to be read after part uno or you'll be heffing confused.

Me: "Harry, buddy...I like you, but Maybe you need to not come over quite so often. I mean really...I don't necessarily want to hear about how you took a dump on someone's claim and then stuck a stick in it to let them know you were there."

Harry: "Oh man...you too? That's the second time I have heard that this week. I can't go home, no wants me around, I am just a bother to everyone. Now you guys too."

I looked into the only part of his face that I could see, his eyes, and felt ashamed of myself. I looked at the ground, not wanting to make eye contact.

wait.....wtf?

me: "Wait...home. You can't go home? You ...have a home?"

Harry: "Yeh my dad died and left me some money and I bought a little place. That's how I got the mustang."

Up until then I had never wondered how he got the Mustang. I didn't actually want to know. I had already made up some dramatic story for how he obtained that as well and never questioned the reality of it.

Me: "If you have a home, why don't you sleep there? Why are you always sleeping out in the field or in our driveway? Why don't you go home and bathe?"

I felt bad saying it. I didn't want to say it. I couldn't stop saying it. It was coming out of my mouth like word diarrhea.

He left, but not before shooting me another pitiful look with those Jesus Blue eyes.

I couldn't sleep all night. My heart was pounding. I kept thinking of the horrible things I said. Horrible things, things I didn't bother to write in this blog.

I woke up the Viking.

Me: "Do you think I was mean to Harry?"

Long pause...

Long pause......

Me: "Are you awake?"

Viking: "YES..."

Me: "Well?"

Viking: "No...I don't think you were mean."


I thought he was just being nice. Even his parents told me he didn’t have the heart to run him off. I felt so horrible…like a big mean bullyhead.

We didn't see Harry for months. During this time a lot of things had happened. We started building our new house, tore out the old house and the four of us (My two sons, Viking and I) were living in a teeny, tiny camp trailer. My wonderful Dog Teah had died and we got two new Tennessee Mountain Curs named Reeses and Snickers.

 I had gotten a new job, and we got a new truck. We really had a lot going on and anyone who has been involved with the building of a new house or even remodeling can tell you...the stress involved in this process is extreme. I know there were several times we had contemplated smothering each other in our sleep.

It was the dead of winter. The house was behind schedule because we were doing everything ourselves. It was cold and muddy.

 We had to cook on a camp stove outside in the cold and the mud, we had to do our other "business" outside as well. We showered at his parents and washed our clothes at the laundry mat. I never felt clean, I never felt warm, I was miserable. Snickers fell off the porch and broke her tiny puppy leg and I felt like I was going to lose my goddamned mind.


And then....he came back.