I sat on my couch curled up in a freshly cleaned, awesome smelling, afghan and watched Tru Blood for the first time ever. I had this huge, dumb smile on my face. I was finally feeling better after a two week courtship with the plague, the house was clean and quiet. Me time! Or not...Because I no sooner sat down and got cozy when there was a rap at the door. I could tell by the retarded Morse code, that it was Hobo Harry. I didn't want to let him in, but the Viking called out that "NO ONE'S HOME." Which ofcourse means "come in and please...stink my house up!"
I wanted to kill the Viking. We could have pretended we were asleep or not home...or something.
Immediately Harry began spouting off his newest dilemma which went something like this;
He had had a successful day of picking mushrooms, found a huge patch that someone was sure to beat him to if he didn’t pick it tomorrow but his stupid mom wouldn’t loan him gas money so her could get there. His probation officer issued a warrant for arrest for failure to comply. She was a dirty hateful bitch. Then he went to the bar and Someone was playing "his" machine and won his money from the slot machines.
I tried to let his babbling go in one ear and out the other, but the combined wet dog, body odor smell and his whiney high pitched voice, made it impossible.
me: "Let me get this straight, You go to jail for failure to appear on charges of driving without a drivers license on more than one occasion. Get probation instead of jail time, don't show up to scheduled meeting with your probation officer, and she's the bad guy?"
He tried in vain to argue his point and I tried in vain to show him what an idiot he was. It was clear I had upset him, because he left. BUT NOT BEFORE STINKING UP MY LIVING ROOM AGAIN.
I have decided that every time he talks I'm going to talk over the top of him, bark like a dog, and cough ridiculously and not cover my mouth. But in all honesty, I don't think even the plague could keep this guy away.
Immediately Harry began spouting off his newest dilemma which went something like this;
He had had a successful day of picking mushrooms, found a huge patch that someone was sure to beat him to if he didn’t pick it tomorrow but his stupid mom wouldn’t loan him gas money so her could get there. His probation officer issued a warrant for arrest for failure to comply. She was a dirty hateful bitch. Then he went to the bar and Someone was playing "his" machine and won his money from the slot machines.
I tried to let his babbling go in one ear and out the other, but the combined wet dog, body odor smell and his whiney high pitched voice, made it impossible.
me: "Let me get this straight, You go to jail for failure to appear on charges of driving without a drivers license on more than one occasion. Get probation instead of jail time, don't show up to scheduled meeting with your probation officer, and she's the bad guy?"
He tried in vain to argue his point and I tried in vain to show him what an idiot he was. It was clear I had upset him, because he left. BUT NOT BEFORE STINKING UP MY LIVING ROOM AGAIN.
I have decided that every time he talks I'm going to talk over the top of him, bark like a dog, and cough ridiculously and not cover my mouth. But in all honesty, I don't think even the plague could keep this guy away.
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